Anxiety

Anxiety can be rough. Especially if you have the type, and level, of anxiety that I have. I went homeless, in part, because of it. Sure, I was hearing voices and seeing things from schizoaffective disorder at the time, but anxiety can paralyze you into a state of do nothingness while the world around you continues to function.

I still have anxiety. But, at least today, I am aware of it. I try not to let it have as much as a stranglehold over me as it once did. Anxiety can find it’s way still into my daily life. It can effect me when I am home, when I am at work… and anywhere in between.

Fortunately, today, I have a toolkit on how to handle anxiety. Sometimes using the methods in my toolkit works, sometimes it does not. It has been a few years since my last panic attack, and hopefully, I will never have another one of those again. For those types of anxiety attacks are crippling and immobilize you totally.

Not drinking alcohol certainly helps. All that drinking would do for me is create more anxiety. And if you drink the way I drank, you wouldn’t remember the previous night anyway… creating another type of anxiety in which you worry about what exactly you did that night even though you can’t remember.

No thank you to living that way ever again. At least today, I know I have an anxiety problem. I work with my doctor and others to try and minimize it, and work through it. I most certainly will not be drinking over it.

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